Sunday, March 20, 2011

To Take Risks

I've yet to fully process everything that I saw in Camden, New Jersey. It was an incredible experience being able to see so clearly how God has been working in Camden. It was a humbling experience being able to play with kids who are so innocent and giving, and yet have seen things that no child should ever have to. It was heartbreaking to hear thier stories, and encouraging to hear how thier lives have been changed for the better because of Urban Promise. I became so attached to the kids there....and felt like my heart would burst when we had to leave. I was especially sad because I was unable to say goodbye to a boy in grade one that I had a really special bond with. His name is Michael...and he pretended to be this tough little kid but was really so sweet. He has some negativity and anger...but he was just an innocent child and just wanted to play with me. I am going to be penpals with him...and I am excited to see how God will continue to work in his life, as I know he is at Urban Promise for a reason.

I wrote in my journal while was gone, and I think I will post my journal entries on here (with some slight editing :P). It it interesting to look back on what I wrote, and gives a fuller explanation of what I experienced.

What I really wanted to write about though, is risk. I am not normally a big risk-taker. Yes, I have been to Japan and the Dominican Republic...but those experiences were not too frightening for me. It was an adventure, but I was with a solid group of people in the DR, and I was well looked after by the Rotary Club in Japan.  It's actually the small things like taking a bus downtown in my city, or trusting that God will provide in financial situations, or having the courage to be who I am and share my heart with other people, or even just trying out extreme sports,  that makes me nervous. I often pull back from the things that make me afraid, and I want to change that.

Camden was more of a risk for me than my other trips. It was actually my first time on a missions trip with Christians...and I did not have any money to go. It was my first experience having to  fundraise an entire amount, and God blew me away. He provided the full amount. Camden was perhaps the first time where I fully and completely stepped out in faith to follow after Christ, and it was life-changing.

From this experience, I have come to a pretty crazy conclusion. God is calling me to live a life of risk. To go places and do things that make me uncomfortable (and there is sooooo many). And even crazier, I am excited about it.

I kinda can't wrap my head around that.

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